Book Review: 4 Lessons I Learned from Unreasonable Hospitality

At the end of last year, I read what was perhaps the best book I’ve read in the last five years: Will Guidara’s Unreasonable Hospitality. Funny, charming, full of leadership wit and wisdom, and chock full of super cool stories about the elite New York restaurant Eleven Madison Park, I was hooked from the first sentence. 

The book had caught my eye, as is so often the case, because that one word, hospitality, was all I’d been talking about for months. Way to go, sneaky internet gods—I knew you were listening.

Hospitality has been the focus at Faithtree for a long time now. We have spent months preparing to launch our newest offering to parishes, which is all about—you guessed it—hospitality. Our team has wrestled with the question of how Orthodox parishes can welcome newcomers to the Church really well, especially when there are so many newcomers pouring into our churches so quickly.

Guidara’s book offered quips and stories full of insights that seemed particularly poignant for every Christian, who is called to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with others.

Here are four lessons the book highlighted beautifully that church members could benefit from applying as we welcome others with an unabandoned, untamed, unreasonable hospitality. 

Be Present

Guidara talks about the importance of caring more about the people we’re with than any of the other things we need to do. With hospitality, that means slowing down. Listening. Looking people in the eye. Focusing on them and their needs. 

The great thing about this in the context of the Church is that that posture of slowing and listening to others is exactly the way Jesus Christ engaged in relationships. 

Takeaway: When you meet someone new at church, commit to spending at least two minutes getting to know them and hearing about why they came to your parish. 

The Way You Make People Feel Matters 

Speaking of meeting newcomers as Christ did, seeing each newcomer as a gift and not a commodity is key to being truly welcoming and hospitable. Too often, we can get caught up in checking off a list of items that we’re supposed to and calling it good when, in fact, we’ve missed seeing the person in front of us. 

If Guidara’s book hit home on anything, it was this: the way you make people feel matters. If we truly want newcomers to come back to our restaurant or parish (which, let’s face it, is the call of the Gospel), we must be interested in how they feel when they are with us. 

Takeaway: Offer your best effort in making newcomers feel welcome by treating them not only as a welcomed guest but as someone you truly want to be there. As obvious as it is, statements like “I’m glad you’re here” go a long way. 

Always, Always, Always Overdeliver

In Guidara’s book, he talks about the extraordinary lengths he and his team went to to make sure every guest was treated like royalty. The stories he tells of the over-the-top acts of personalized service are nothing short of extreme. 

But the result was always extraordinary.

Overdelivering for newcomers doesn’t require huge expenditures of cash or a bunch of overpriced giveaways. It doesn’t have to take hours of prep either. Rather, overdelivering only requires intentionality. If we want to over deliver the hospitality of Christ to the newcomers in our parish, we must have a plan. 

Takeaway: Ask your priest how you might contribute to the hospitality efforts of your parish. 

Positivity is Key in Relationships

Guidara observes that his former boss, Randy Garutti (former CEO of Shake Shack and general manager of the Indian-French restaurant Tabla), allowed positivity to set the tone for all his relationships. 

“Ask him how his day was going, and he’d say, ‘You know, man, I’m trying to make today the very best day of my life,’” Guidara writes. “I might have rolled my eyes, but that kind of unwavering positivity turned out to be impossible to resist, largely because Randy believed every bit of what he was saying—and before long, so did we.”

As Christians, one of the most powerful offerings we can share is joy. Joy! And perhaps it is most important to share joy with seekers coming to the Church, looking for “the peace that surpasses all understanding.”

Sometimes we can get bogged down with all that goes on around us. As you welcome newcomers to your church, remember…JOY!

Takeaway: Start with a sincere smile. Put yourself in the shoes of the newcomer by asking how you’d feel when you walked through the church doors. 

Guidara’s Unreasonable Hospitality is more than just a book about running a successful restaurant—it’s a masterclass in human connection and intentionality. The lessons he teaches are incredibly relevant for our parishes as we work to make newcomers feel accepted. By embracing these principles, we can ensure that our churches are not only places of worship but also sanctuaries of warmth and welcome. Let’s commit to practicing unreasonable hospitality and make our parishes a reflection of Christ’s love for us all.